38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
