Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
