Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
