Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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