I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
