We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
