hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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