Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
