Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
