Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
