Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
