So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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