My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
