It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
