I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think my moral compass just broke
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
