Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
