well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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