where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
