she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
