he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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