why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
