So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
