Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
