Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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