This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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