Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i will never coherently bang her
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
