okay pat passed out under dana's car
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
