I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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