I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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