they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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