So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
