Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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