Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize