She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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