whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
