wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
