You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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