Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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