Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
