i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
