I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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