i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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