Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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