Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
