i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
