That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
