i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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