Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
