I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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