the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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