Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
