well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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