I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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