is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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