I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
