Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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