There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is Oprah even human
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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