I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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