Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
