i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
