so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did I show you my penis last night?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
