so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize