his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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