Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
