Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize