dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
