I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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