Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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