I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
