You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
