Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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