if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
