I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
