I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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