You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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