All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
