I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
