Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
false alarm, still single
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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