I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
