he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
