Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
this hospital has no fireball
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
