More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
