Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
