FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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