the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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