She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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